Stumbling Towards The Light

D-Moment

2009-06-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to go out and see the world since I was a little kid. My parents were my inspiration back then; they both studied overseas. Only this time, I want to achieve more than them. From primary school to MRSM, things workout as I wished. I took a stumble during my time in KMS but I was given a second chance to redeem myself. Tomorrow, its the final exam that will decide my fate.

I did OK last sem, perhaps because the subjects were easier and I've already learned most of them before this. This time, it is more challenging (difficult is just a state of mind). At the moment,exactly 32 hours before the first paper I haven't entirely covered the syllabus. This is when people should be panick. To be honest I am a little freak out.

But I promise myself, I will walk into that exam room confidently, and walkout the same way. I won't let any negative feeling get in my way, not this time. Wish me luck.

Godspeed

As you grow older

2009-06-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

When we were young, life is so carefree. Everything was spontaneous. I could play with my friends all day long. Nothing to be worried about. I used to steal buah koko in this chinese farm without slight hesitation(Yes, i was evil). Nothing to be concerned about. Of course i was beaten the crap out of me when my parents found out. The point is, it was easy to make a decision back then.

When we get older, multiple variables seems to appear out of nowhere when it comes to decision making. Even in the simplest thing like where to eat when you were in groups. It feels like, whatever you do there's always consequences need to be considered. Sometimes when you're not doing anything you also wonder what is the outcome. Especially when you're in goal oriented circumtances.

When you want to get involved with someone, you always wonder what is the appropriate way to do it. Do I come too strong if I call?Is texting too casual?What would he/she think of me if i do this? What would PEOPLE think of me if I do that? This kinda questions can be barricades to whatever we want to achieve.

Its not that I'm complaining of being a grown up. Its just I didn't realize when did I grow up to be this kinda person. Till I decided to write this down. When I was a little kid, it got me thinking, how does it feel to be an adult? It must be cool. I can drive my own car, have my own money to buy my own toys, I can do whatever I want. Now that I am what I am, I already did those cool stuff. And its not as cool as i thought it is. Those stuff comes with responsibility. Which is something I couldn't possibly understand when I was a kid. Now that I do, I wish I was one of the Lost Boys in the Neverland.

I know its cowardly to run away from your responsibility or even complaining about them. Its just something we have to do, whether you like it or not. What really bugs me is that the thought of when we desired of something, and eventually gets it, we regret it. We wish we never made that decision or even dreaming about it. And we fixed it back the way it were at the first place, we keep wondering if we had not do that. We never satisfy with whatever we have. I guess that is what makes us human

Why Chelsea is not good enough to win the Champions League

2009-05-16T17:39:00.000-07:00

It's the 6th times already since the Chelsea had qualified to the knock out round of the most competitive football tournament in then world; the UEFA Champions League. But Chelsea is yet to win the silverware. Plenty of controversial decisions, lack of luck keeps getting in their way. The recent exit to Barcelona when some critical decision are turned against them and penalty miss against Manchester United in the finals are perhaps the most heartbreaking moments for Chelsea fans. The fans claim that it is luck who is not on their side. Yeah, in football sometimes you need luck. But it is a heartache to think that after 6 seasons the luck is still not on our side. Obviously it is not luck we are to blame.

Chelsea's lineup is consist of international captains,some high quality and experienced players but still not good enough to cope with the game. If we examine the backbones of the team,the likes of John Terry, Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba, they are at their 3o's already,or almost.Actually most of the players are. This type of players somehow creates a similar pattern of playing;taking it slow. This is easily exploited by the teams who take things fast offensively. Yes, Chelsea has one of the most organized defense in the world but that is not good enough to win the game. Chelsea rely too much on physical strength on the offense. What Chelsea really need is new bloods in the team. The different between Chelsea and the best team in the world is a genuine winger. Having Anelka or Kalou playing on the right flank is not really working. These players are strikers.or used to be.So there is a tendency to be selfish.It is time to give chance to young and energetic players such as Scott Sinclair to play.

Lets look closely the game against Barcelona recently. Chelsea started well even the possesion is dominated by the Catalans. They played some beautifull passes but barricaded just right outside of penalty box. The atmosphere went high went Essien scored a spectecular goal from the outside. The game went on with Barcelona have possesion but no shot on goal. Even Chelsea who had only one third of the possesion have more shots on goals.Throughout the game there have been 5 penalty claims by Chelsea, all of them were waved away by the referee.It has been the most hot topic debated throughout the football world.From my point of view,out of 5, at least 2 of them are valid.First when the Malouda was 'hackled' inside the penalty box and handball by Pique.It was so clear even I noticed it. The shitty decisions eventually cost Chelsea the game triggered anger and high emotions throughout Stamford Bridge. Ballack went chasing on the referee like a madman, Drogba confronted the same guy like a single mom lost her child.Even Guus Hiddink was not in talking terms for a couple of days after the game.

However, Chelsea should've known better. They had plenty of chances to kill the game. Drogba had 1-on-1 chance and he blew it.Both 1st leg and 2nd leg. He has the firepower but too much confidence that made him a blunder.Drogba is one of the deadliest striker but he whined too much.He is such a spoilt brat for a 31 years old. He kept falling and falling even with minimal contact and too much of injury claim. If he has some honor in himself perhaps that would make him an unstoppable force.I'm glad that Chelsea finally decide to ditch him.When Abidail was red carded, it Chelsea's advantage to score more and finished off the game.Instead, Hiddink strenghten the defense even more. Waiting the game to end the way it is.2 minutes before the final whistle, Andres Iniesta scored the dramatic equaliser.The score was 1-1 till the game finished and Barcelona is through to the final by the away goal rule.

It was one of the memorable moment in football history. Sucks for Chelsea though. I think Barcelona deserve to play in the final,but I also think Chelsea deserve it too. Some Chelsea haters claimed that Chelsea is playing antifootball just because the play it defensively.Well, let me remind you being defensive is also part of football.Just because Chelsea don't play the way your team play doesn't mean your team is superior. Chelsea play cleverly against Barcelona. Barcelona's offense was dwarfed by Chelsea's organized defense. Yes Barcelona is arguably one of the best team at the moment with beautiful game but this is not one of them.

The so called 'beautiful game' is amounted on one shot on goal throughout the game

Chelsea's jinx went on

The referees were pathethic

2009-02-28T04:15:00.001-08:00

Stop hitting yourself

Stop hitting yourself

Why are you still hitting yourself?

2009

2009-01-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

Not so much a difference for me this beginning of new year.Same old new resolution.Continuing do what i do to achieve what I am for.But not everyone is fortunate as we are.Our brothers and sisters in Palestine is on the verge of holocaust. I wonder when this is going to end.God knows.

After friday prayer yesterday, i heard a horrible news of my mom's friend were involved in a car accident.A mom,with her sister and 3 of her children were in the car.1 survive.A one and a half girl. She suffers a critical injury on her stomach and head right now. Once a again i wonder,how deep this wound would be left on the husband.My condolence to the family.

Its not my job to preach or anykind, but sometimes we should keep our feet on earth.We often got carried away.So let us go through this year with a new hope but yet more cautious.

~Al-Fatihah~

busy holiday 2

2008-12-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

It's 5.30 in the morning now,im at the cc around the heart of kl.This is where i kill my time waiting for the lrt to start operating.This is a continuous post from the previous one.

I still haven't got back to kelantan yet hehe so for those for order jerseys from me im afraid there is gonna be a delay in delivery.Anyway i was in penang for the past couple of days.That was the first time i've been there.From what i heard,penang is a good port to hang out.

1st day; took a bus from bt jambul to the city.i was having trouble communicating with the bus conductor as he spoke a heavy penang accent haha thanks to the lady in front of me,we finally understand each other.To be honest i dont know where am i going.I just said to him i wanna go to georgetown.So i got off the bus when all the passengers did and the place was kinda hectic.Its komtar.So many people,so many smoke.There's nothing much here;bus station,OLD shopping complex,gov complex and etc.Its just like central market in kl.Then took a bus to batu feringgi and there is nothing much there but OLD almost naked tourist and hot tropical beach.So i headed back to sg nibong and there was a carnival there with fun fair,culture performance and blabala. I had the chance to ride challenger and top gun.Right after that,i was so fuzzy that i walked like a drunk man back to my hotel.

2nd day;finally i got to meet someone i know in penang.i went to queensbay mall to meet faris,ija,wani and syair.they brought me to this mamak restaurant.i ordered some penang food and its not so different from what i had in any places outside of penang.even the nasi kandar in penang is not so different from bistro in front of seremban parade.But according to them nasi kandar in penang has somekinda aura.whatever that means hehe then went to the movies, histeria.2nd malay movie i watched in cinema after gerak khas the movie.Its a lame movie for me because ..... ok i dont wanna spoil it out for u.but for those who are into horror,this might be a good breakthrough for horror movie in malaysia.at night i took a bus and went back to kl.

Generally speaking,yeah penang is a good place to hang out,but not a place to settle down.Its so busy here,with traffic jam and all.Now that i completed my journey to all of malaysia peninsular including some part of thailand and singapore, im more confident to see the whole world. Ok its 6 now,i better get going now.a lot of places to go today hehe chow!

busy holiday

2008-12-16T17:42:00.000-08:00

Unlike my holiday before,this one is pretty hectic.I haven't go back to kelantan yet since the winter break started. After raya haji, i have to go straight away to debate tournament in Gombak.It was fun that I actually came out of retirement to enter the debate field again.Its been awhile since the last time i did that.Frankly speaking,i think i didn't even know how to debate properly(seriously,sometimes i dont even know what im talking about).Even though my team do not even qualified for the quater-finals,im still content.I met knew people,revive the spirit of debating again(hoho takleh blah).But seriously,debate really made my mind works again. So if any of participants in the debate tournament so happen to read this,its really an honour to know you guys.and congratz for those who achieve their aim.

After the debate,i stayed at cat's place.As usual cat's family is always generous to me.Thanks cat huhu anyway we had a really busy and happening weekend.Where should i start?

Saturday:went to klcc,with cat,ben,dwane.usha2 pc fair.The only laptop worth buying:vaio sony
others are hampeh.there are not much of a choice.later on watched transporter 3:hambar gila. its another version of twilight.cheeeesyyyy gila.br nk tengok cite anak jantan cket.

Sunday;Went to lala's kenduri in bangsar.i got to meet chill,kruk,alya,mashi and of course lala. A small reunion but its fun.to be honest,i was humbled by the kenduri held.grand gila huuuuu nak minum air pon segan.But thanks lala 4 the hospitality.Later on went to WUPID(world uni. peace invitational debate).it was a brief visit because by the time we were there,it was the last speaker turn to talk.Even though it was short,its enough for me to realize how high their standard really are.*sigh* still got a long way to go.after that i followed cat to play futsal in subang with his fellow sdarian.So menyamar jd bdak sdar jap la.kat sana jmp nyai and i got to make some new friends.
balik umah pancit gila

Monday:early in the morning,we have to go back to subang.I promised fafuria and the gang to go skating.My feet were still in sore huuu but then i can still skate.my skill has improved than the last time i skated.but then i did fall every now and then,but this time i felt beautifully hahaha
then i went back to my auntie's in subang.I figured this time,i really could use a rest

Tuesday:tidooooooooooooooor,petang;naik beskal round kampung

Wednesday:back in kl to watch the final of wupid.typing this blog.going to collect mara cheque later hehe

So after this,when i have bought my new laptop.Im going to stay at home watch japanese drama till i drop.Ooo yeah,i havent done any of my assignments yet *zzzzzzzzzz*

Sleepless

2008-11-18T02:39:00.000-08:00

For the past few nights, I could not get a decent sleep.There are few things that keep disturbing me.Plus sometime i get this 'kna tindih' phenomena.if u know what i mean.Its not that scary when you kinda get used to it.I can't really scientifically,maybe sometime at those moment, I was kinda tired. However there are times that I was not tired at all,I still experienced the same thing.

Well,thats not the real reason why I couldn't sleep.Since last week,a few events have occurred.
Lets start with my academic stuff.Last week,I have to skip 2 days of classes in order to get my agreement with MARA done.I missed some classes and a couple of quizzes.I planned on catching up on last weekend.Unfortunately my debate training started at the same time.So I had to juggle them as my replacement quizzes were given at same time.Even though I succeeded to polish my debating skills and obtain average marks,I'm not happy.because I know I could've done better.

Thats is not also the real reason that I couldn't sleep.Because I can still catch up as I have plenty of free time in the weekends(I have 3 days 4 weekend =P).

In life,there are times that you have to make a difficult decision.I believe this is one of those. I was invited to join usrah by ISMA. Honestly,I don't have a problem joining it.In fact this is one of the best way to learn about our religion. The best way to learn about 'jatidiri'(not by a lecture filled with 1000 of students in a hot hall even the air-cond is on!!).It requires continuous systematic learning process. My only problem;commitment. That might be a reason why I don't have a girlfriend =P haha anyway for now,I'm kinda into a lot if things.Studies,debate,sports,time for my own and blablabla. Plus,I don't really like to be attached to any organization. I have joined other usrah before this,but since they are located in KL,I rarely keep track with them.

When I give a deep thought into it,I realized those are just lame excuses. Of course I do have a lot of things to do but if I put effort into it,I can find a time to squeeze in my schedule.Its about you really want it or not.

I'm writing this early in the morning,consequence of couldn't sleep.Actually I did sleep,but I woke up around 3.Come to think of it,this is good for me.Wake up early,do some study. Sounds good =)

p/s:i slept at 10 last night =P

How to make a sweet drink from a sour lemon

2008-11-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

Ok,this is not a recipe how to make sirap limau,limau ais or even lemonade. This is just a title to make my post look good.

Let's face it,life is unfair.We're facing a lot of things we don't want to encounter everyday. We always wish that it wont come to us, but that is exactly what it does.This is when we start cursing, feel that everything is so wrong and eventually ruin our mood for the day. And it starts all over again.

Why is this happening?

Problems always seem to be an eyesore.Some extreme people just can't deal with it are willing taking shortcuts through suicides.Others just simply give up.But what usually happen among us is we still deal with it,but after we are weaken by the magnitude of efforts we have to put in order to get through it.

Just because bad things are happening to us doesn't mean life is picking on us.For any difficulties,they are test to prove that we have what it takes to cope with life.To be a better,stronger person.

Before this,we see problems as loopholes through our path,thats why we always fall.Why don't this time,we see it as opportunities,and see where it will lead us to

New Chapter

2008-10-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hei,I'm really sorry that I haven't really update my blog. You can say I've been pretty busy lately.
So,where I should start eh?

Yeah, I'm now officially the student of UniKL-MICET,which stands for M'sian Institute of Chemical and Bioengineering Technology.Catchy huh?Anyway we are located somewhere in Taboh Naning, that is somewhere between Alor Gajah and Tampin.If you still remember your history,this is where the place of one of the great warrior who defied against the British at that time,Dol Said. So the first day we were here,we were told by the local to be careful in this kinda place,because if you do something disturbing(trespassing or anykind),the 'panglima' and 'hulubalang' would come at night and warn you themselves.huhu.now thats original.I hope 'they' don't have the access to the wireless here or else they are going to read this post and come knocking on my door.

This place could be quite far from the city, but I assure you this a suitable place to study. Far from any distraction,which I consider as good.Because I don't want history in Seremban repeat itself again(even I have to admit those are my sweet memories there hoho).Access to the nearest town is pretty easy.There are buses come here at particular times.If you have your own transport,that should be much easier.Unlike in KMS,you can go out anywhere,anytime you want but before 11 pm on the weekdays and before 1am on Friday and Saturday.

In my class,there are 21 students,so far. My classmates are mostly hilarious.We can have a joke like in every 5 minutes.Except when the lecturer is teaching,of course.Other than that,we always find something to laugh about.I hope it stays that way huhu

Classes?

Surprisingly I have to take Biology.Can you believe that?Biology in engineering.At first I thought this must be some kinda mistake,but its not. The 1st topic of the subject: the need to learn biology in engineering.Ok now we're talking. Since I'm taking chemical engineering,i will somehow deal with microorganism as enzyme to catalyze some reaction in chemical industry. Plus, you also need to know how chemical processes are carried out in physiology system so that you will know what kinda drugs or medicine you are going to produce.Pharmaceutical? They create the drugs,we are the one who are going to manufacture and make big money out of it hohohoho not a pengedar dadah or any kind eh haha a good one i mean.Chemical engineers must have knowledge in this field.
Other topics I'm taking now are physical chem,organic chem,material and balance,math,biology,physics and English.Ooo yeah,we have English classes because we are taking IELTS!Again!!! For those who have taken it,this matter is still being discussed and hopefully we don't have to retake it.

Sports facilities

Way much better than kms.Hands down.They have a proper football field,netball field, 3 tennis courts but only 1 is being used and the other 2 are transformed into futsal courts(sounds familiar?),2 FULL basketball courts,2 volleyball courts and last but not least,a gym!!hehe(sangap aa nih)Fully equipped gymnasium hoho The stuffs are all here,whether you want to use it or not.

Its quite easy to get to know people over here.You play futsal or basketball,you cooperate with them,chat a little bit,throw in some smiles,wallah,you get a new friend.Not all students are that friendly,but most of them are.

At the moment,I'm really enjoying myself here.I hope I can finish my year here like this without having any problems.Amin.

Bumpy Ride

2008-09-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday,I finally do something about my life.Fetching up my bike from a relative house in Tanah Merah.Its quite far from my place approximately 180km distanced. Since the bike was rarely used,nobody really care about the road tax.Consequently, I have to take the old road, through the jungles and mountains(that sounds so cool rite =P) in order to avoid police roadblock.

The journey started by filling up my tank(my bike's tank,not literally my tank hehe) at Petronas. Since I saw the fuel was still at half of tank, I decided just to top up for RM3 because I don't want the fuel to be too much.I played my music player and hit the road.

From Tanah Merah to Jeli,the traffic was smooth.Sometimes I had to slow down to increase the volume of music because the sound of the engine was too loud.By doing so,I have to reach my left pocket while my other hand handling the bike,while moving bout 60km/h.Sometimes the handle got shaky when i did that.

The worse was yet to come.The road from the turn I took towards Dabong was awful. Its an old road and rarely fixed.To make it even more challenging,it was raining and I so happened to be not wearing any sweater or rain coat.Mandi free huhu the road was quite slippery and every time I accelerated the bike got shaky again.

When the rain finally stopped,I was really grateful. So I continued the journey happily.Until I reached Kg.Star.This was where my bike starting to act like a crazy horse.When I tried to go faster,the bike went forth and slowed down repeatedly.I was starting to worry because at that moment,the place is kinda a middle of nowhere.I tried to push the bike a little further,at least till I was in more civilized zone.

Alhamdulillah,with my newly transformed 'ride', i reached this small station gas called Petronas huhu(I'm not promoting k hehe) I checked out what was really the problem and it turned out that the bike was out of gas.Lucky me that i stopped at the gas station.

So I filled it up again and with do'a selamat this time,I resumed my journey.There's no problem whatsoeva till I reached home at 6.
Moral of this story are:

1)Pay your road tax
2)Get a new bike if possible
3)Always baca do'a b4 you travel
4)Don't be too stinky to fill up ur tank

So hopefully you guys can learn from my experience huhu this is the road that I've taken

Unite

2008-09-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

Last Friday,I went to a tazkirah by this ustaz(sorry i have problem remembering names).There's one guy ask him about how many raka'at terawikh should be done.Ustaz said according to Imam Hassan al-Banna,if 8 raka'at can make you all happy,then do 8.If 20 can make everyone satisfied, then do 20.But if either both 8 or 20 can't make everyone happy,then don't do it at all. Because the hukum of unity(ukhuwwah) among muslim is wajib(compulsory) compared to terawikh which is sunat.

So fellow friends, if we see nowadays,unity is not really our priority. Many of us are more individualistic.One obvious example,politic in our country. To those who went to orientation for oversea students sponsored by MARA, you should know how agonizing it was. Anyway, i remembered YB Hj Noh said something like 'kita buat ni blablablablablabla utk orang melayu and blabla some more". The point is, they do...... whatever they do for us just for the sake of malay people.But if they really want to see the malay prosper, have they ever talk or negotiate with the other side of malay,keADILan or to be more specific with Anwar Ibrahim.

Yeah,I know they may do muzakarah with PAS but the things is,PAS is not the one controlling PKR.In fact PAS status in PKR is starting to be uncertain.Umno must accept the fact that people don't trust them anymore. Why not share the power instead of brawl with each other.If this goes on i'm pretty sure we will lose the only thing we have,power.

Ok,may be i'm being too idealistic or naive.But yeah, I am naive.I'm naive because I don't understand why is it so hard to put all the hates behind,to share power for the sake of our people,if that is their real intention to be in politic that is.

So fellow friends, for we are the next generation,I hope we don't do the same mistake as our leaders have done.We still have a long way to go.After this,everyone of us may participate in different organization,parties but do not forget who we really are.